When does separation anxiety become abnormal?

This occurs when the child has reached an age when these three development milestones should have been completed, but the child is still having excessive anxiety upon separation. This is known as separation anxiety disorder.

This can happen for a couple of reasons: failure to form a secure attachment to a care giver or repeated disruptions to that attachment from outside influences such as hospitalization or jail or travel. Another risk factor for separation anxiety disorder is a history of anxiety disorder in the parent. Some signs in the child can be

• recurrent excessive distress when separated

• excessive worry about harm occurring to the major attachment figure (e.g., Mom or Dad)

• reluctance to go anywhere without the major attachment figure

• reluctance to be alone

• reluctance to sleep away

• repeated nightmares with the theme of separation

• vague complaints of physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches that occur in anticipation of a separation from the attachment figure.

 

Although even children without this disorder can occasionally express what seems like excessive worry or concern about a parent or other care giver, children with this disorder have these symptoms for at least 4 weeks and have impairment of normal functioning such as not being able to attend school or be left with a sitter. The treatment includes behavioral therapy, play therapy, and desensitization. Occasionally, medication can help reduce feelings of anxiety. If you think your child shows excessive anxiety with separation, inappropriate for her age, talk to your pediatrician about getting help.

Red Flags:
The following symptoms are considered a problem if the interfere with a child's functioning and last more than 4 weeks:

• Extreme, excessive distress upon routine separations from home, parents and/or loved ones

• Crying, clinging, panic, disorganization upon separation or in anticipation of separation

• Worry about losing, or about possible harm befalling parents or other family members

• Fears of getting lost or being kidnapped

• Great difficulty separating at night, may attempt to sleep with parent or sibling

• Physical symptoms (such as headaches, stomachaches, nausea or vomiting) when separation occurs, or in anticipation of separations

• Inability to be alone; shadows parents around the house, even to the bathroom

• Inability to be on a separate floor from parent

• Needing reassurance of parents' presence, panics and calls for parent if parent has left the room or is not visible

• Disinterest in social activities; preference to spend time with parent

• Nightmares about harm, danger, death, separation

• Over-concern with loved one-needs reassurance that loved one is ok

• Panics if parent late for pick ups; frequent reassurance about pick-up plan

• Inability to attend birthday parties or field trips independently

• Frequent "I love you's" and other checking-in mechanisms with parent

• Great difficulty tolerating disapproval of parent

 

The above information is found from the following web site: http://www.worrywisekids.org/node/43

WebMD Separation Anxiety in Children:  http://children.webmd.com/guide/separation-anxiety